By Adam Carlson
Published: June 23, 2010

Our great national panic can finally come to an end.

No, not the oil spill — screw the Gulf Coast, forget about the economy and don’t even think of mentioning the wars in the Middle East.

I’m talking about Sarah Palin’s breasts.

You heard right?

They’re real.

Drum roll, please.

Brace yourself for the collective sigh of relief — the light of the conservative party has not — I repeat, has not — stooped to plastic surgery.

This is contrary to a glut of rumors — all stemming from far-left liberals, one assumes — that popped-up following the appearance of a certain Tight White T-shirt Photo.

Though the mind wonders: if Palin had gotten a little boost, and if she’d stayed in office long enough to finish up her duly-elected term as governor of Alaska whilst under the knife, would she have written it off as a work expense?

“Boobgate is all over the Internet right now because there are a lot of bored, idle bloggers and journalists with nothing better to talk about,” our Lady of Wasilla confessed to Greta Van Susteren during a recent interview.

So does that classify me as a bored, idle journalist? Almost certainly.

But here’s the thing, Sarah —

Continue reading the June 23, 2010 article from the University of Georgia's Red And Black . . .